


things minho does (for everyone)

by igotostay



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bang Chan-centric, Comfort, Couch Cuddles, Dates, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, actually a 3+1 type of fic, but seriously just minchan, chan overthinks as usual, hugs and kisses, minho comforts and assures chan, minho flirts with literally everyone, minho knows chan well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:21:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27044896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/igotostay/pseuds/igotostay
Summary: chan wanted to think he was special to minho. that minho hugged him more dearly, kissed him more deeply, and ideally, loved him differently. but that was all it was, chan's imagination. for everything minho did for him, he did the same with the others.- or -chan thinks too much and minho flirts too much. but minho notices chan's out of it quickly and forces chan to talk.  they get their happy ending.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han & Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin & Lee Minho | Lee Know, Kim Seungmin & Lee Minho | Lee Know, Lee Minho | Lee Know & Seo Changbin, Lee Minho | Lee Know & Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 5
Kudos: 132





	things minho does (for everyone)

chan wanted to think he was special to minho. that minho hugged him more dearly, kissed him more deeply, and ideally, loved him differently. but that was all it was, chan's imagination. for everything minho did for him, he did the same with the others. 

I. cuddles  
despite being a part of their hyung line, both minho and chan were very clingy people. touch, was of course, their love language. the minute touches become more frequent amongst members during comeback season, with everyone stressed and in need of some comfort. 

chan worked the hardest, of course he did. he was their leader, and he had to live up to the responsibilities and expectations. with the bulk of his time spent in his studio, he barely came back to their dorms. and even when he did, he was always too tired to climb onto the top deck of their bed. he could curse changbin for the damned switch, but he had agreed to it, seemingly logical since he only spent two to three hours at home. 

so everytime he was home, it was the wee hours of the morning. the unusual peace and quiet that would always be there welcoming him. it was dreadful. after ten years in jyp, he had become accustomed to the unending noise from all the excited and rowdy boys around him. the noise that sometimes got on his nerve, but the same noise that drowned out his thoughts. those that overwhelmed him when he had the space to think. those he wished he could push away. it was always these times that he dreaded the most. the silence that allowed his brain to whirl, conjuring thoughts he wish he'd never had. the ones that made him feel like he was drowning. 

except, more often than not, minho would join him. despite being all smelly from a day couped up in his studio, minho would still drag his blanket and join chan on the couch. or if he had not slept yet, which was unsurprisingly rare, he would drag chan into bed with him. it was the late night cuddles with minho that would bring a good night's rest to chan. 

chan would like to believe minho truly cared for him. perhaps as the second eldest in the group, he too saw it his responsibility to care for the leader that never payed attention to his own wellbeing. and chan was immensely grateful to have minho. minho, who hugged him tight at night, squeezing all thoughts out of chan's mind. minho, his anchor to sanity. 

so, perhaps chan thought he meant more to minho than he actually did. maybe all he was to minho was a comfortable bolster. for minho seemed to be just fine with cuddling all their members. from doing so to bother changbin to pleasing whiny jisung. chan couldn't help but feel the dreadful pang in his chest whenever he watched them. even if minho had done it because they were filming a talker. 

it was frustrating to keep his expression in check. chan's eyes would unknowingly stray to minho while they were in the dressing room, especially off-camera, away from prying eyes. except, every time he looked at minho, the younger would be cuddling some other members for "strength and energy" as he coined it. 

he had watched minho whine and follow jeongin around for cuddles. he had watched minho playfully lie on hyunjin. chan so wished he could surpress his rising emotions better. each twitch of his lips that conveyed his annoyance, each frown of his eyebrows that showed his displeasure. it was harder to school his expression to neutrality than he would have thought. 

so chan just accepted the fact that perhaps he wasn't special to minho afterall. minho, the everloving and cuddly minho, was pleased to have cuddles from any other member. chan swallowed that harsh fact, hoping it was diminish the swelling pain in his chest. 

II. hugs and kisses  
what were hugs and kisses if they were all touchy with each other anyways? this was obviously not surprising from all the members. it was pretty much a common occurence, almost as common as the millennials calling everyone "baby". 

except, chan used to think the ones he shared with minho were special. he could recount almost every single one he shared with the latter. the comforting hugs minho gave when he knew chan was distressed. the warm hugs that chased away the morning cold when chan was making breakfast. the small kisses that minho gave him before stage performances. the happy kisses that minho shared when he was excited. 

with how random minho was, chan was surprised every time minho gave him kisses. hugs, chan believed were easier to predict. minho hugged him when he was cold, minho hugged him when he was sleepy. he learnt the telltale sign of each; minho's trembling lips and his droopy eyes. it was inevitable that chan ended up looking out for these, anticipating the next hug minho would share. 

but the kisses. minho was so spontaneous with those. there were small pecks when chan was drifting off to sleep during dance practices. there were sweet kisses when they went to the park on off days. chan never managed to pick up on minho's habits of sharing kisses, but he didn't mind it one bit. 

minho's hugs and kisses sent him flying over the moon. minho's muscular arms, minho's plushy lips. all of minho was simply exhilarating. each hug, each kiss, made chan feel so warm inside, he really couldn't help the smile that would grace his lips after. he felt so loved, much different from the dreary dull of each day. 

minho's hugs and kisses were vastly different from the ones he received from other members. sure, hugging felix or hyunjin was enjoyable, but it was a different feeling from the ones with minho. hugging other members perhaps gave him some energy and motivation for a while, the comforting knowledge that these were his people he was working so hard for. but with minho, it all felt like a dream. where each hug and kiss made him feel grounded, rewarded.

but perhaps to minho giving hugs and kisses to the members were done equally. for he never hesitated to pucker his lips with any members, especially if it was done in teasing. he was free to share his hugs and kisses with everyone, but it always struck something within chan. 

it was as simple as seeing minho willing to kiss changbin so easily, even on camera, tightening the vessels around his heart. they were "enemies", weren't they? changbin who daringly teased minho and vice versa. but even so, minho was happy to be pushed by hyunjin towards changbin, puckered lips awaiting for contact. chan wouldn't admit the sigh of relief he released when changbin had managed to break free, screaming and whining with flushed ears. 

or perhaps even minho's keen interest in sharing saliva with any member. chan had been watching much of stray kids content in his free time, deniably looking out for minho whom had gone home for chuseok. the dorms were practically empty, with felix out grocery shopping. so with no need for pretense, he had watched the two kids plus one room that starred minho in it. 

except the moment he had clicked the video open, minho was goading jisung to accept a popcorn from his mouth. and chan couldn't stop the frown from overtaking his face. that was something minho used to do to tease him. it was their thing; minho trying to "share" ice with chan. but now he was doing the exact same thing with jisung. and chan couldn't stop the nasty green feeling from spreading across his chest. 

he wasn't special to minho. he just had to accept that. 

III. dates  
rest days were such rare occurences for the members, they always maximised them happily, in their various ways. hyunjin and jisung who would gladly catch up on much needed sleep. felix who would either bake or game. and chan, who somehow saw no difference in work and play. to him, enjoyment was found in his work. so even if stray kids were given a break, chan would still be holed up in his studio, producing new songs for them. 

but this apparently annoyed minho greatly. minho would always ensure he woke up earlier than chan on off days, switching off chan's alarms to keep him in bed longer. minho's argument was that chan desperately needed more sleep, and chan could never resist his doe eyes and pouty lips. 

by the time chan, frustratingly, woke up around noon, minho would drag him out in the city. whether it was for lunch, or just a quick walk in less crowded areas. minho logic, as chan termed it, was that they all needed some fresh air to work better. chan was weak for minho, and craving for one-on-one time with the younger was fufilled through their dates. so chan just went along with them. 

yet again, minho was always looking out for him. minho who ensured chan wasn't overworked, minho who took care of him in a way that no one else did. chan was the oldest, the leader, and he had wished for nothing from the members. save for their happiness and stray kids' success. but minho continued silently caring for him. taking care of him, even when he was sure minho needed a break too. 

minho's caring nature made chan feel loved. even if he was so far from his real family, he believed he felt familial warmth here in seoul. so perhaps that was why he thought he meant much more to minho. having their specially curated bond, in which they always looked out for each other. 

except, chan came to know minho's loving nature extended to them all in the same manner. he found out through their vlogs, one night, that minho treated them all equally, or perhaps, other members better than chan. chan hated the heavy feeling that descended upon him as he watched jisung animatedly tell fans how minho had bought him dinner once.

each word that left the excited rapper felt like a dagger in chan's chest. it was all about how 'hyung' had dragged him to a faraway restaurant, with fantastic views but crazy high prices. about how 'lee know hyung' paid for their meal and happily drove them back after many romantic pictures. 

chan hated the urge that arose in him; the desire to currently shove a box of tissues in jisung's mouth. he logically knew that jisung had done nothing wrong, but he couldn't subdue the disgusting feeling of jealousy, the one that made him want to throttle the younger the next time they gathered in the studio. 

and chan found out it wasn't only jisung who had experienced minho's generosity. it was the bulk of the members. even seungmin, whom minho jokingly coined his "prey". seungmin had told fans how easily he could drag a sleepy minho out for food. though minho had just woken up, he would agree to seungmin's whines to grab lunch, even if the restaurant was inconveniently far. entirely opposite from chan's struggles to wake minho every morning. 

so chan had to settle that he was nothing special to minho. minho loved them all the same and cared for them equally. 

∞ comfort  
chan should be happy about it. he really should be. he should be extremely pleased that all his members got along just fine, pleased that none of them had favourites that the managers needed to break apart before fans latched on to anything negative. 

but he wasn't. he silently hated each time he watched minho get close to the others. he hated the cursed longing in his chest every time he watched minho cuddle others the same way they did at night. he hated the dreadful disgust every time he watched minho give others bone-crushing hugs and blissful pecks. he hated the gut-wrenching twists in his stomach whenever he heard of minho's caring dates with the others. 

it eventually got to the point where each smile minho shared with the others caused a small pang in his chest. minho had a special smile for chan, the heart stopping smile chan had written about in their songs. chan longed for it to be his smile, one that minho never shared with the others. except, chan thinks he has seen minho share them more than once with the members. and all chan wants now is to crawl in a hole to bury his feelings. 

minho kept him grounded and chan couldn't afford to lose him. so he kept all his distastes bottled, opting to release them subtly in various songs instead. except minho noticed. keen-eyed minho, who never missed a thing about chan, noticed. the growing weariness in their lyrics, caught his attention the first time he listened to chan's new compositions after returning from chuseok. 

chan regretted it instantly. he saw the way minho's eyes softened as he gave chan a look of pity, and chan immediately wanted to run back to the safety of his studio. but minho's soft hand on his kept him rooted, allowing the song to come to its end. 

"chan hyung... what's bothering you?" minho spoke softly, sitting them on their signature spot on the couch. 

chan instinctively shook his head. he was never one to share his life problems with others. much less his members who relied on him as their leader. it was unfair to them to add on to their troubles, especially when he knew they had to deal with their own. most of them were still young, freshly legal, and they didn't deserve to be burdened with chan's weaknesses. it was the way things worked - they came to chan for help, not the other way around. 

minho sighed as he wrapped his arms around chan's torso gently. perhaps he understood. he was one of the oldest too, and the only one he really opened up to was chan. with a short trainee period, chan knew he was minho's pillar of support for a while, with the shy younger focusing on dancing rather than making new friends. 

minho tried again, "you know you can talk to me, hyung. i'm here for you too."

chan's fingers stopped moving against minho's arm. it was common knowledge that minho was stubborn, and chan knew he would definitely continue pressing until he received an answer. and a legitimate one at that, with the sharp eyes of minho able to sieve out the lies and truths. 

so chan's mind began to whirl. there wasn't much he could tell minho. there wasn't anything he was ready to share with anyone. on one hand, he could tell minho the truth about his thoughts on their relationship. but that placed their friendship on the line, and that was something chan was not willing to risk. 

the other option was to unload work-related burdens. to share with minho his insecurities and troubles. chan knew he was good with his words. so perhaps he could phrase his pain in a softer way. that way, no one would ever find out about the claws that have dug deeply into chan's mind. the ones that forcefully pushed in demons that chan struggled to battle each day. the irritating voices that never ceased to tell chan he wasn't good enough for everyone. that those he had now would leave him just like everyone did. 

the way his friends had debuted before him, the way his friends had been kicked out of training. the never-ending loss of his people for seven years. the way he could only helplessly watch as minho and felix were once eliminated. the knowledge that he couldn't do anything to keep his group together no matter how hard he tried. 

opening up to anyone was a risk that chan would never take again. because almost everyone had walked out of his life, and he wouldn't be surprised if it happened again. living with his members for the past three years meant that he had inevitably grown attached to each bright member that he had chosen himself. which also unfortunately meant that he couldn't possibly live with himself if anything went wrong. 

except it did. and yet again, chan could do nothing to stop it as his precious group became smaller after a year. perhaps it was for the better, and perhaps there were reasons for departures. but chan despised knowing he had no control over his life, no way to hold on to all that he treasured. so he wasn't about to lose another member, even emotionally, just because minho was smarter than given credit for. 

chan forced a smile on his face, "just... tired, i guess. the consecutive comebacks this time are pretty exhausting."

minho cocked an eyebrow at chan, "are you sure, hyung?"

the worried manner in which minho was gazing at him was driving chan mad. minho's widened eyes increasing chan's heartrate exponentially. the words were at the tip of his tongue, the desperation to seek help for the monsters in his head. what were his options again? the lesser of both evils? 

chan inhaled deeply, "fine. uh... what... what am i to you?"

minho's head titled sideways, "you're my precious hyung and the best leader, of course."

digesting minho's response, the nasty voice in his head snarled of minho's blatant lies, repeating the ugly truth that chan was nothing but a passerby in minho's vibrant life. the breaths chan intook grew shorter but more frequent, the crunch of his face briefly there before he noticed to shove it down. but perhaps minho caught chan's expression before he could suppress it. 

"channie... you mean a lot to all of us. more than you realise. you put us all together and helped us fufill our dreams of debuting. we're all so grateful to you. we love you a lot. i... i love you a lot... i think... in love with you," minho whispered, seemingly mindless as he traced circles on chan's arm. 

but the small sparkle in his eyes told chan otherwise. minho was completely sincere in his words, and it blocked any entrenching claws from digging deeper into the cracks of his mind. 

a genuine smile overtook chan's features as minho glanced up at him. the first he had given anyone for a long time. perhaps he should give it a shot, throw all the nagging cautions into the wind. 

"thank you, minnie... i love you too," chan pressed a soft kiss on minho's lips.

the smile that reflected on minho's lips made chan feel like to could compose a new song. one that now focused on how beautiful minho was, on how he felt so loved and so special to minho. 

the voices in his head went silent for once. and chan seized the opportunity to place another chaste kiss on minho's lips. the shine in minho's eyes was something chan knew was specially unique to him. and he was sure no one had the privilege of seeing this side of minho. 

and that was enough for chan now. the hope that he truly meant more to minho in the same way he was loved. and perhaps one day, he would entrust minho to help him battle the demons in his head.


End file.
